Learn Not To Jab Him In The Balls

Those quick quips you say that slip in conversation, especially when you two are with his buddies, are deadly to your relationship.  They are small "meaningless" jabs that simultaneously shred his ego and leave a puncture hole in his balls.  You just can't help it.  They slip out.  They come as fast as they spill and the devastation is the silent closure of your man's heart. 

 

I'm guilty.  I've been frustrated with my guy.  I've said things like "If you would be smart, I'd be kind."  Or "Last night wasn't good enough."  Or--wait a minute I said that last one?  Ouch. 

 

The reason women jab men in the balls is because they want to draw attention to something they are trying to cope with.  It's a way of saying--I don't like this about you. 

 

Knowing that, learn to hold your tongue and breath.  Those quips are the "little death" that has nothing to do with sex.  Men hear those jabs and feel resentment.  Resentment does not get you feelings of love and "I'll try harder" attitude.  Sometimes talking about something will make you feel better. 

The real trick is to hold those sly comments, turn them around and find out what is bothering you.  Those stabs are not considered communication.  They are daggers with poison tips.  

Communication is a conversation where you know what you want and express it to your man as if you were giving this news to yourself.  If you want it broken gently, break it gently.  If you need to get it out, get it out and be frank.  Keep in mind the guy's feelings too.  

Most men are going to appreciate the direct route without the meek “I'm so sorry I feel this way”.  If you’re sorry you feel this way than it's your problem, not his, so figure it out on your own.  If he asks what’s wrong, tell him but don’t blame him.  And hold your zippy little tongue because he doesn't deserve that. 

 

If you want him to realize that what he's doing annoys you, then tell him that.  But also, be willing to deal with him not being able to change what annoys you because it might be part of him.  

Typically there is a problem underneath the nit-pickery, ball stabs and ego destroyers of the tongue.  Find out what it is.  I implore you.  You'll find out about yourself and maybe find it has nothing to do with him.  Then those quips will end and he'll bring you around his friends once more and be the envy of all because you have nothing but good things to say about him. 

 

He'll feel the security you feel in yourself and the relationship to the point he’ll feel safe and relaxed around you.  Only then will he talk to you and share something other than the game score. 

 

Where Do Good Ideas Come From?

Inspiration hits!  You write like mad to keep up and then the scene is complete in its draft.  Who was that masked muse and why did she come so fast and furious?  You re-read the scene and whether its a great scene that needs more work or a bomb of ink and paper you think, where do I go from here?

 

This is an example of your brain churning the wheels for a good idea.  This is the start of a dossier for a character.  The scene might not be the start of a story but the start of a character in their everyday world. 

 

Good ideas always start with day-dreams for me.  Facets of my own personality shine and embody the characters I create.  It's a way to explore a flaw, a virtue and/or a goal.

 

Good ideas also come from free writing.  It's what comes to mind you write.  A few posts I've started with "I don't know what to write I'm suppose to write what is in my mind.  I think of fire and my fire pit outside in the back yard.  I'd like to do that again and have s’mores.  The fire is warm, I'm in a chair..."

 

It's not Hemingway and not supposed to be.  It's the start of a scene.  It gets you to blow out the crap to get to the gold.  This blog is one big free writing exercise.  It's not my best work, just the most honest. 

 

What really makes a good idea are having ideas all the time.  It's like exercising a muscle.  Curiosity is involved with good ideas.  Yes, there will be bad ideas, but if you have no ideas, how are the good ones to come? 

Sharing...

Sharing this scene I'm working on.  It came as inspiration when I was trying to get Marcus to understand that there might be something else going on with Platt than just her rejecting him.  Jessica saved my butt and has become quiet the muse.

"She doesn't know your intentions."  Jessica was talented at knowing the answers to questions and making them statements.  Somehow it was a relief to let her control the conversation.

"You would do anything for her?"  Jessica looked at him in a way that told him she already knew the answer but wanted him to say it anyway.

"Within my power."

"Is it within your power to speak to her?"

Marcus blanched at her in answer.

Jessica set her hands to her hips.  "You would fight for her?  You would lay a king's ransom at her feet?  You would bed her and claim her above all others?"

He didn't know what kind of mind trap she laid and said nothing.

"You would do all that, but you wouldn't do the most difficult thing of all.  No you would leave her to do that, all you men leave the most frightening of terrors up to women."

Marcus growled at her implication of calling him a coward.  He did not hide behind women's skirts.

"Prove to her that you are brave then.  Prove to her that you above all others can withstand what most men can't and won't."

"And what pray tell would that be?"

"Hand her your heart at the risk of her destroying it."  Jessica's small frame trembled.  "Lay yourself bare and tell her how you feel."

Horror surfaced and the words made Marcus sweat.  Could he literally hand Platt his heart instead?  That would be less painful and safer to bear. 

Jessica pointed at his nose.  "That is what women give with no reserve and with everything we have.  It's no less devastating when a man shows nothing in return."

"She refused."  Marcus whispered.

"Did she refuse you or the temptation of your body?"  Jessica scowled.  "One does not equal the other and the pressure is on her to give the both of you what you want."   

Marcus was breathing hard.  He remembered Platt turning away from him in her room.  Platt's words were precise and guarded.  He missed something or didn't understand her.  There was something she needed from him but the customs of humans were not like anything he knew. 

"I've tried to show her."  Marcus gritted his teeth.

"Oh I'm sure you'd show her a wonderful time under silk, but so have you with me and set off without a word.  If that's how you plan to show your feelings for an unmarried maid then no wonder she refused." 

Ode To The Mommy

picture by Donald Weller

I'm thankful to my mommy

For all that's she's done.

It takes a strong woman

to squeeze a melon through a womb.

 

Many years ago

I passed through her body.

Like a constipated turd

and came out as beautiful as a blue prune.

 

I'm sure there were times

when she shook her head in horror,

That came out of me?

Dear God what have I unleashed?

 

And here I am today

to tell you it's all true.

My mommy's proud of me

even if I'm supercalafragalisticexpealadocious!

People Points

This post is for those who sometimes wake up in the morning and find they have zero people points.  

People points is a term for the allocated tolerance level given to anyone by an introvert.  Most people recharge by drawing people near them.  A smaller group of people are introverts, funny word introvert it kinna reminds me of pervert, (anyway) introverts want nothing to do with anyone.  Except maybe the dog.  People no, animals okay.  Not even other introverts want anything to do with other introverts.  

So what do introverts do when they have zero people points?  They stay away from other people less they give others a bad day.  

For those that want to know what to do to get out of the funk I have suggestions:

* Walk in nature is good for the soul.  

* Write down frustrations.  Like in a blog, like this one! 

* Play with the puppy. 

* Go to that special place--it could be the beach, the stables, or even the mat so you can beat the crap out of those people that are annoying you.  

Now here's how to piss off an introvert.

* Ask them if they are okay or what their problem is. Introverts love it when you tell them they look down or put in f-bombs with your sentences.

* Be loud and obnoxious in the name of fun!

* Say something stupid like 2 + 2 = 5.  

If you really want one to go postal, tell them they have to go to this social gathering and you will have no more problems, ever.   

So when a person says they are out of people points remember, it means they are sick of you--but it's nothing personal. 

Six Word Stories

Nothing in my head for posts.

Steal This Poem...Give It To Your Lover

I think about you all the time.
Be my new discovery,
An exciting uncharted territory,
To explore you, adore you,learn again.
Can I wrap you up in my love,
So much I would like to claim you as my woman.
Surround you completely, play with you sweetly,
Fall in love with you totally and completely.
Then ever so tenderly slowly undress each layer,
Finding each a new desire.
Those special things about you I will and do so admire.
Like your beautiful cheeky smile and charm,
Or the freckles on your arm,
The music in your soft voice,
When I am locked in surrender of your embrace,
Just to hear you whisper,
The way you say my name.
Like the look in your eyes,
When you are thoughtful.
Or the things you like,
Like what goes on in your mind.
Those cute dimples on your chin and where you are ticklish,to just begin,
Just silly things which are part of you.
Like bare naked simplicity.
I want to give you all of me so will you give me all of you?
Truly one thing I really want to say,
Is I want to make you mine one day,
Tell you how much I love you so very much,
Each day more and more, Miss you being in touch.
So for now I just let you know how much I love you so,
Sending you kisses lots and lots.
I want to ask you will you be mine,
So we can catch up on all them lovely cuddles and hugs.
I love you more all the time.