Friday, December 21, 2012

In The Event Of This Post, I Must Be Dead...Oh Wait...


If you are reading this, it means I died in the Mayan Apocalypse. If that's the case, I'm probably not going to write any more blogs past this one -- or am I?  

This is in effect my last will and testimate.  I swear on a book of bibles that I'm sane, sound and whole. As one can be during their last day on Earth. 
 
Donald--Take good care of Emma.  I love you.

Emma--Take good care of Donald.  I love you.

Momma--All's been said on my part.  I'm pretty sure all's been said on your part.  Oh, and Luke's Tale is all set to go in Amazon, all you have to do is push the publish button. I love you.

Daddy--I hope one day you learn that having control over anything but your own actions is a lie.  I love you.

Rett--I'm so proud of you!  I think you hide too much so I'm just gonna say who gives a fuck what they think of you.  I felt better when I told mom and dad to screw off with their opinions--I don't care what they think--maybe you should do the same, and believe in it. Still, I respect what dignity you try to collect.  I love you.

Lauren--You're the best of all of us. Beauty, good looks, brains, heart stopping face, awesome head on your shoulders, gorgeous body--get the picture?  I love you.

Diesel--Chin up, man.  What's winning when there's no challenge?  Great, Kid--don't get cocky.  You have a wish coin -- See Slater's.  I love you.

Slater--You're my hero.  I love you.  Come get your birthday coins on my desk.  Grandma knows what I'm talking about.  There's one for you and one for your brother.  They grant one wish.  Rules are: 1) Do not wish anyone to come back from the dead.  Corpses rising is just gross.  2) Do not wish for anyone to fall in love with you.  That bends free will too much.  3) Do not ask for anyone killed.  I won't do it.  Make sure you're asking for something that will not cause another harm, or bend the laws of physics.  I'm not that good at science.

Bob--Sometimes, when you talk or make a joke or recite a movie quote, and you think no one's listening, I am.  You make me laugh.  I love you.

Lorie--I always wished you could see yourself through my eyes.  Your beautiful, strong and fierce like a mother bear.  I love you.

Alley--You're just like your dad.  Just female--see his note.  I love you.

Sam--You can tell them I was the one who slipped you cookies under the table.  I think it's a moot point now.  I love you.

Lee--You and Mal were always an inspiration.  Watching your loss, parent Lindsey, move away from my ancestral home to Floriday (not a typo, that's what I call that state).  All that was pure lion strength love.  I love you.

Mal--Your frightening you know that?  Stoic determination has a picture of you on it's wall of hero's.  But you'll always be my magician.  I love you.  

Lindsey--You're made of awesome sauce! You've been inspiration incarnate. I love you.

Frances--You were always such fun to talk to.  You're also wise as a crone but pretty as a young maid!  Thanks for putting up with me :) You give good advice.  I love you.

David--You're energy was always so boundless.  I liked being near you because of it.  You should also see my Daddy's note.  I love you.

Coleson--Dude!  I'm so going to kick your butt at chess when you get here.  I'll have decades on you.  Also, don't sell yourself short but don't get cocky.  I love you.

Ivy--Hey beautiful!  Don't let anyone push you around.  That's an order! :)  I love you.

Grandpa BD--See momma's note.  I love you.

Carolyn--I may have found you more interesting than you me, still I love you.

Tracy--You & Kevin are there on my mind. I'm so happy you're happy! I love you all.

Jesse/Ryan--Yeah, you don't know me well, but I think of you guys and think you two are super awesome. I love you.

Pam--We're good.  Just don't make me work for you.  I love you.

Josh--Anything I put here your going to make a joke about so laugh at this--I love you.  Yes, we're good.  I hope you laugh at me.

If I've forgotten you, know--I still love you.
 
Always look on the bright side of life...
 
Does that mean I should look at the dark side of death?  

Oh...wait...so if the world ends no one will see this? Dang! That means I'll be alive!

 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

We didn't die. So someone read this. Interesting perspective on everyone. Just FYI, your dad and I have only tried to help you and Rett when it seemed like you needed it. As you've both grown older, we've tried to stay out of your business... you only have to share what you want to...as parents, we're both always interested in your and Rett's happiness and success. Remember that when we're gone. I love you too.