Learn Not To Jab Him In The Balls

Those quick quips you say that slip in conversation, especially when you two are with his buddies, are deadly to your relationship.  They are small "meaningless" jabs that simultaneously shred his ego and leave a puncture hole in his balls.  You just can't help it.  They slip out.  They come as fast as they spill and the devastation is the silent closure of your man's heart. 

 

I'm guilty.  I've been frustrated with my guy.  I've said things like "If you would be smart, I'd be kind."  Or "Last night wasn't good enough."  Or--wait a minute I said that last one?  Ouch. 

 

The reason women jab men in the balls is because they want to draw attention to something they are trying to cope with.  It's a way of saying--I don't like this about you. 

 

Knowing that, learn to hold your tongue and breath.  Those quips are the "little death" that has nothing to do with sex.  Men hear those jabs and feel resentment.  Resentment does not get you feelings of love and "I'll try harder" attitude.  Sometimes talking about something will make you feel better. 

The real trick is to hold those sly comments, turn them around and find out what is bothering you.  Those stabs are not considered communication.  They are daggers with poison tips.  

Communication is a conversation where you know what you want and express it to your man as if you were giving this news to yourself.  If you want it broken gently, break it gently.  If you need to get it out, get it out and be frank.  Keep in mind the guy's feelings too.  

Most men are going to appreciate the direct route without the meek “I'm so sorry I feel this way”.  If you’re sorry you feel this way than it's your problem, not his, so figure it out on your own.  If he asks what’s wrong, tell him but don’t blame him.  And hold your zippy little tongue because he doesn't deserve that. 

 

If you want him to realize that what he's doing annoys you, then tell him that.  But also, be willing to deal with him not being able to change what annoys you because it might be part of him.  

Typically there is a problem underneath the nit-pickery, ball stabs and ego destroyers of the tongue.  Find out what it is.  I implore you.  You'll find out about yourself and maybe find it has nothing to do with him.  Then those quips will end and he'll bring you around his friends once more and be the envy of all because you have nothing but good things to say about him. 

 

He'll feel the security you feel in yourself and the relationship to the point he’ll feel safe and relaxed around you.  Only then will he talk to you and share something other than the game score.