Do Manners Mean Having To Change Who You Are?

Example: I'm boisterous, I'm myself, but when someone takes my pen, I track it with hawk's eyes. When someone swipes I pen I bought, or was gifted to me, sometimes I don't concentrate on their conversation and only concentrate on when I'm going to get my pen back. Mostly because people don't give me my pen back. 

I believe we can agree that giving my pen back is only courteous, but so many people forget. Things other people do is touch the knobs on my dash while in my car. But what about when I'm being my boisterous self? When I'm too loud in public sometimes I need to be shushed. When friends shush me, sometimes I do pipe down, sometimes I don't. It's because of my passion. So what do you think? should I shut my mouth? What things might people want to curb for etiquette? Tell me! I'd be interested to know!

Mr. Penn Jillette--My New Role Model

Dear Mr. Jillette,

I saw, or rather heard, an interview with you and three women of hysterical ravings about "the gun issue". These women were so incredibly hysterical that I wanted to shut them the hell up. I was going to beg my boyfriend to change the channel until your rational, calm voice brought focus into my world. 

It was like a espresso shot of zen. In the face of such chaotic panic you remained stoic and unaffected by frantic musings of your hosts that typify "hysterical woman". 

My heart went out to you when you sympathetically explained that you had friends with Asperger syndrome and to please don't make fun or blame those people with that affliction for what one individual, with the same affliction, did. 

This note is a hug and a thank you for remaining collected in the face of irrational passion. 

I know those ladies were expressing their fear. They feel helpless and want someone to deal with the problem which is the reason for the high-pitched antics. But, fear and panic is not what the topic needed. 

I am forever your fan.

Sincerely, 

S.N.McKibben

Sex As A Bad Thing

You're angry. I get it.
 
Breath. Because you will need every ounce of patience you possess to explain something to me.
 
Why is being viewed as something sexual demeaning?
 
Why is being wanted bad?

Here's is a scientific fact that Harvard researchers examined to a degree of infamy. 

Men think about sex. 

They think about sex with women, men and goats. Yes, that last one is gross (and a joke) and to those men that really want to have sex with live-stock I don't get it, but the men having sex with women part I can really dig!

There are many men who love women. What saddens me is that women treat men like incompetent women. They expect men to think as women, only men don't. 

This means women may get offended by what a man says. Have you ever heard the saying "If she likes you, you can do nothing wrong. If she doesn't, you can do nothing right." Yes, the right guy can say something to the effect of "I like your hair." and the woman is please because the guy she likes is paying attention to her. If the wrong guy says the same thing, even the same way, that guy is harassing her. He's a jerk.
 
This mentality makes me sad.
 
Women throw away their power constantly. Somewhere in the struggle of man and woman--women tossed their power aside. This power can bring a man to his knees. It has the power to "launch a thousand ships", it can tame, provoke, calm or destroy him. 

That power is sexuality. 

You know what I think? I think with great power comes great responsibility. I think women who shun their sexuality are terrified of their power. 

I can attest to you that I have waggled my finger at guys and they come running. I've had experiences were I've given a "sit" command to my dog and a complete stranger heeded my command. He thought I was talking to him. On his behalf, I was very serious, very angry and my voice was very no-nonsense you better do as I say right now (just at the dog-but hey, he thought it best to be safe.) 

Point being:

Men love woman and they want to please us. 

I love men. I love the way they try to make me laugh. I love the way they think. I love their easy ways. I love their compliments--even if they whistle at me from across the street. You know what I do when I get a cat call? I wave and say thank you. Because honestly those guys are desperate, and desperate guys are often the ones that stumble on their own words. They're the guys that come over when I waggle my finger and then can't string two thoughts together. 

What would happen if you actually had a witty come-back to a come-on? What if you felt powerful instead of intimidated in front of those guys that were trying to gain your attention and what if you took control of the conversation? 

Life is about the journey. That includes the trek you make from work to home, to the grocery, to school, whatever. When you walk your are on a journey. In that journey you have the opportunity to meet new people. Since it's about the journey and not point A to B, it seems like a waste to put your head down and expect everyone to ignore you. 

What power is within you that you're so terrified of?

Hot Cup Of Love Challenge

I found this post from the Searching For The Happiness blog and had to share!  It's about creating tender moments and stoking the fires of love. These are 21 day challenges you can do to bring your relationship back in the forefront of your life.

  http://www.hotcupoflove.com/lovechallenge/

Prince Charming...Is A Lie

He's not perfect. He's my kind of perfect. You see I've let go of the biggest romatic/relationship LIE ever told. 

Prince charming WILL BE...

...so drop dead gorgeous that every  woman on the planet will want him--even lesbians. (Ha! I didn't believe that one)

...will only have you in his mind and won't look at other women. AND regardless that he wants to watch Die Hard and you want to watch Pride and Prejudice, he'll go see the movie you want. (YUK! Can I join you and watch Die hard?)

...will bring you gifts or tokens of undying love. (Okay, DW does do that. I've figured out it's him bringing me coffee, or him bringing me my forgotten lunch from home, or my cell phone or sending me kisses via text)

...will own a white horse and ride up on said stallion and take you away into the sunset. (Where exactly is the sunset? Do we just ride and become burning smolders from heat stroke or does it get dark and then what do we do? Besides, I was the one who owned the white horse--that wouldn't let any guy ride him.)

...will own a castle and bring you to the top of the hill to square you away. (Ummm...he has a house alright and it's everything I can do to clean it. Yes, it's big and a pain in the rear to clean. I love the house, I love, love, love it...I have a dog and cats and I get to clean their poo but when things break. Oiy!) 

...will fight to the death just to kiss you. (Yeah. In real life that's escalates Stockholm syndrome and typically you wake up two years later wondering why your with this guy.)

...will know every thought and bend to your every whim.

...will be this AMAZING lover. He'll know everything about your body and want sex every 5 minutes. (Exhausting, you know the typical time it takes for a girl to get off is 40 minutes--I'm not the exception. While never leaving the bed is great, this blog wouldn't be possible if that were the case.)

...will know you are the one instantly! (pft! Took me 6 dang years. Maybe he knew instantly)

...will love and cherish you and do everything you say! He'll even read your mind and jump to your snap, he'll never look at another woman and...

 

STOP!

 

No, I did not believe in all that. What I did believe was my problems and issues would go away when my Prince Charming came through the door.  

I had this list of attributes I wanted in a man without really knowing what those attributes looked like in the real world. 

When you say I want him to have integrity, well then, what does that look like in real life? I'll tell you, it looks like me hemming and hawing, embarrassed, because DW won't let me get screwed by a movie theater employee for screwing up my ticket. 

What does thoughtful look like? Bringing me tea in the evening when I'm working. 

What does handsome look like? No, he's not Joe-football-I'm-a-star, but I get dizzy when he kisses me--every time. 

The rest of my list was not long, but it wasn't paltry either. All those things I wanted--I've forgotten. 

I'm too busy experiencing who I'm with now to make checklist of who I want to be with. There are things I'd like. He's not the most organized person. But I am. He can be Mr. Oblivious, but he over looks when I become "Mrs. Grace". He doesn't wear the latest fashions. He's not rich, but our bills are paid. He's not an alpha male but I'm a bit of a bossy mare. 

The point is,you have been lied to and it's time you wake up from the dream. It isn't real. Prince Charming is another way of saying that the person you are with will solve all your problems. 

Solve your own problems. Don't try to solve his. Learn that men do have feelings and wants of their own. Learn that people must take care of themselves before they can take care of anything else. 

When I say learn, I mean go to seminars, seek out relationship counselors, talk to others, discuss this fairy tale that does so much damage to how you interact with men--even if you do happen to have your "Prince Charming". I got lucky. DW is well kept secret.

 

 

Fergy Was...

...Talented. She could do all the moves important to dressage up to 4th level. Only her injuries hindered her from going further.

...Loved by the best human mom a horse could wish for. Mom really helped her in every way to make her comfortable and healthy.

...Great at her job. Which was to take care of mom while riding. Fergy didn't allow others near Carol while she was around and took that responsibility of protecting mom from everyone around her seriously.

...a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

...Defensive about her room. You'd pull back a bloody stump if she didn't want you near her stall. But when it was time to come out, she was ready and willing.

...wonderful to ride. Fergy loved dressage. She loved the arena. She loved showing. Most of all, I think she really loved trailer rides.

The first time I met Fergy she ripped the baseball cap off my head. She made me smile. When I went to get her to bring her to Majestic Equestrians she dragged me to the trailer and jumped inside. No coaxing necessary.

When she retired due to injury, mom decided a life of leisure in a quiet place 5 minutes away from home was best. I got use to walking Fergy every morning. Our jaunts through Chatsworth Park and down Chatsworth Street were too few for my liking.

Fergy 1984 - 2013

Seperate: A Study In Mind And Body

Dressage riders have to separate parts of their body for different movements.  You might think this is really easy but try walking without swinging your arms or swaying your hips.  Our bodies are connected when we move and it's not natural to separate movement.     

As I was riding and thinking about this, I wondered how I could separate other parts of my body to understand what they are saying.  

Your stomach speaks and sometimes loudly.  But do you hear your heart?  Your gallbladder?  Your liver?  Probably only when something is really wrong and your organs are telling you to fix it now. 

What about separating the soul from the heart and understanding what each is saying. 

Your consciousness is always talking to you and the muffled feelings of your body isn't given a second glance.  The mind is the language of thought or voice.  The language of the rest of your body is feeling.  So tell your brain to shut up and feel?  

Maybe.  Or maybe you can use the brain to help you understand and communicate to the other parts of your body and even your soul.  Use your mind to decipher what's going on in your body.  

You might wonder how.  I close my eyes and focus on the part I want to listen to, like the heart.  I sit and concentrate on my heart for a moment and then I'll hear it "speak". 

 

Dressage riders concentrate on separating muscles, but it's a different type of fulfillment to hear all aspects of thought, feeling and soul together for a complete life.  

You might have a different way of listening and I'd like to hear how you do it! 

Thought Of The Day

When you're afraid of the world, everything is a fear tactic. 

I had a chance to think about this epiphany I had a while back.  There's a reason for the Beluga Whale as my picture of the day.  These creatures are curious and mild.  They live in a harsh environment and yet retain a wonderful outlook on life.  

It's not wrong to fear.  But fear and pain go hand in hand like pleasure and happiness.  What would happen if you went out and were not afraid to tell truths?  What if you were no longer afraid to hide who you are?  What if you said hello to a stranger?  How many friendships would you gain by talking to that person who mis-dialed your number?  (I have gained one friend by this method, and is an interesting relationship as we've never met and just talk on the phone.)

What would it be like for you to pretend to be a Beluga Whale and wake up everyday curious and ready to explore the world?  Would knowing how to defend yourself make you capable of such mentality?  How many secrets do you hide?  Is it because you don't want to be judged?  Those who fear judgement might want to evaluate how much they take responsibility for their actions.  

If you smile at a fellow pedestrian, what do you think will happen?  If you look someone in the eye why is it a threat?  Call the Beluga Whale fat and happy if you wish.  But fat and happy up there has more guts than any coward that snarks at their refusal to fear a world that holds so many predators for them. 

Epiphany:

The amount of jealousy you have 

is in direct proportion to your self-worth.

I love men!

You are funny, you shock me with your observations, you're willing to go along with my antics and I can tease you mercilessly without you taking it seriously.  But if I mistakenly jab you in the balls you'll give me that look--I know I've crossed the line.  I'll apologize and knock it off and that's the end of it.  No grudges. 

Your friends gag when I talk about you because they're jealous that all I have to say are the wonderful things you did or said.  You make my life easy and I'll stand witness to all your achievements.   

There is no fantasy guy out there or in my mind that I'm comparing you to.  I don't need you and I'm not disillusioned that you need me, but I want you and you want me and that's all we need.  

You understand your desire to possess me is frighting and I'll do everything in my power to carefully avoid strings of attachment.  That doesn't mean that I don't love you.  It means I'm here now, today.  Tomorrow isn't certain.  

That doesn't mean I won't be here tomorrow, it means I'm fierce about my independence and I can love without feeling possessive.  This may confuse you.  You'll feel lost or unloved at times but it's so far from the truth and my heart will ache if you believe those lies.   

The part of you, the side that you fight with all day long, you can drop the reins when you come home and go with it.  I'm not afraid of your beast.  You'll find strength from me and grow from it.  

You'll come to understand that if we grow apart and it's your time to leave, I won't cause a huge scene because of my lack of possessiveness.  I want the best for you and I'm not afraid of what the future brings for me with or without you. 

Or you'll grow with me an never want to leave.

I'm Ethical Because I'm a Greedy Capitalist

Of the seven sins greed might be the most hated of all.  Balancing these sins out Pride vs. Modesty, Lust vs. Chasity, Greed vs. Ethics but people tend to swing the needle all the way to the other side.  It becomes I'm not Prideful I'm Insecure.  I'm not Lustful I'm Celibate.  I'm not Greedy I'm...interesting that I can't find an all encompassing word for "giving everything away".  (Help me with that if you know one)

 

But wait...there's this guy you might have heard of, Greg Smith.  He's the one that publicly announced he finally noticed Goldman and Sach's was unethical in it's business dealings.  In his article he explained that when you don't have ethics, you don't have a business.  I agree.  Short term greed might get you money, but it won't get you wealth. 

 

The way success works in business is a good rapport with customers.  Customers give you money.  Treat your customers poorly, try to pull the wool over their eyes, grab their stash and run then you're not going to have a business for long, as Mr. Smith points out.  

Ethics are, in essence, necessary for sustained success.  Perhaps you've seen executives get away with it.  But my first reaction when I see businesses doing shady things is to not do business with them.  You don't trust them and the money flows away from them. 

 

"But everybody's doing it!"

 

No.  I refuse to believe there are no options.  I've found banks that never laid a finger on "junk loans".  I've work with business owners doing the right thing.  I have writers warning me not to cross a non-disclosure clause "because it would be wrong."  "Everybody's doing it"--is not the best excuse I've heard, just the most common.  If one can justify dumping morals to the way side then it's a life that hasn't been self-examined. 

 

Greg Smith's article points to one direction and that's ethics=success.  No matter how many stories you hear about bankers, traders or executives behaving badly, I'll always believe in ethics.  So if I genuinely care about my customers and their wants, if I seem more preoccupied with how I can help my fellow co-workers, or if I walk out on a deal that makes me uncomfortable because I don't feel it's right, then attest my ethics to my greed. 

The Truth About Love

Picture by Donald Weller

I no longer seek Unconditional Love only the truth of love.  I think I've been looking for the truth of love all this time but didn't know that was what it was called.  

So many people say they want someone to love not realizing that it's a goal and the idea of love they are looking for.  When I say idea I mean ideal because when someone says that want love they don't actually realize that they already have been assigned someone to love.  

Not like a soul mate and yes, at risk of sounding corny, that person is you.  This body, this soul.  Love is a feeling--that's what your looking for.  Can you feel love towards yourself?  Seeking the truth of love, what it is, what it means to me is just as profound as, what is life? 

 

I've decided that if God is love then dogs were put in my path to learn what love is.  Dogs do love unconditionally and I've come to understand that people don't.  People can but they run the risk of not loving themselves unconditionally and to do that would miss the whole point of unconditional love.  Because only you can give you that kind of love. 

 

Seeking the truth of love is different.  Trying to figure out what love is by seeking love without possession is something I find worth investigating.  I remind myself you must be willing to let go for the sake of the thing you love without resentment yet keep it near so the feeling is always with you.  The truth of love brings me back to the road of the self.  Who I am, what I'm about.  

When I come from this place, this centered secure place, I can find the truth of love.  Possession falls away like an irrelevant toy.  But a toy it is and sometimes I return to it when I need to return to the ego before I lose the sense of self-preservation.  I am the moth fluttering towards the light of love and retreating before I am obliterated into the whole of it all.  Is love the balance between these two places or is love the light?  Will the truth blind or kill me?  Or will I join it at the discovery of my search?

Is "The Good For The People" Subjective?

I'm trying to make sense out of political debates and what I commonly see are politicians claiming people's allegiance by the people's emotions.  Everyone has needs that have to met and everyone has an opinion on how these needs are met.  Some rely on others--welfare, spouse support, hand-outs.  Some rely on commerce--having a job, being their own boss, living off investments.  Some rely on the collective--Unemployment, government jobs, disability.

 

No matter how you feed yourself you have an opinion about it because this is how you stay alive.  With all these different ideas whether you want someone else to worry about it, worry about yourself or just go with the flow there are so many different opinions on where the nation should go it makes me dizzy.  Everyone thinks they are right, or don't care if their answer doesn't suit everyone.  They want what they want and want it right now. 

 

But do you truly sit back and think about what's right for the masses without stepping on individual priorities?  For some old guys, the founding fathers sure did do their homework, dig deep within themselves and pull out the bill of rights with not just the masses in mind but individuals too.  What is the root of all the chicken pecking?  Why do we not think about our own rights within others?  Clearly stated I've said to a friend, "Yes, I would be a little nervous about you having a gun, but I would never want to take the right of you owning a gun away from you."  I can't state this more prolifically. 

 

The founding fathers stated clearly what are rights and omitted what are not rights.  There is not right to have sex because that would mean women wouldn't have the right to say no.  Healthcare is not a right because it means doctors couldn't say no.  In fact, speaking of the constitution, any of the rights given are ones that do not come from anyone else.  Turn this around and think about what happens to you when you're stuck at your job, you can't quit, you can't find another one and your boss is saying you can't go home because you don't have the right to say no.  At the very least, you'd get cranky, and do a less than peak performance job.  

 

I'm not saying we should all become socialists and work for our brother, but it would be more productive to have a mindset of, what can I do to make others fulfilled?  Because when you do that, it makes you fulfilled.  If your goal is money, then that's the best type of attitude because people will flock to your products.  If your goal is brotherhood, then that's the perfect attitude because it creates unity.  If your goal is to lead and be popular, then that attitude is perfect because people will subscribe to your ideas. 

 

Am I alone in answering: teamwork and meeting goals, to the playboy question "what turns you on?"  Because teamwork is what the world needs. 

Be Your Own Boss (Better Known As--Lessons In Phycology)

Rewarding.  That's the main reason why people want to be their own boss.  It gives you a kind of freedom, gratefulness and the pressure of being accountable in one long humble experience.  

Some see the pressure of being their own boss as control.  Others see it as drive.  But their is often one thing people never think about when being the boss.  Unless your a phycologist, you don't think about the aspect of dealing with other people's baggage.  

You think about the product you offer, the service you provide, marketing, or sales but never the interactioin you give that affects your customers.  If you have employees, that's a completely different phycological melting pot aside from clients which I'm not going to go in to.  

As your own boss you have to be professional.  When your not you get bad reviews and potential clients find someone else to work with.  You also have to be a good judge of character to learn what your client wants.  If you're really good you find out what your client wants even if they have difficulty in telling you what that is.  A lot of that is communication.  But, my advice would be--take a physiology class.

Learning what your client needs will help you in sales.  It may also drive you bonkers knowing how crazy the mind works but knowing what the client wants can make the difference of being your own boss and working for one. 

Plan For Retirement At 30

Where do I want to be when I'm sixty?  

I was told once most people plan their vacations better than they plan their lives.  They drone on never thinking about where or what they want to be.  Those that don't have a long-term plan find themselves somewhere else--somewhere they don't want to be.  Yet I heard from a successful business entrepreneur that far thinking is a waste of time.  Isn't there truth in both issues?  People are changing careers because they can't make a living from the original one they chose.  Others are sticking to it no matter what because it's who they are or what they do.

In this case I look to writing and what it taught me.  When I write a scene I'm sketching out the "right now".  But, I'm also thinking about the impact this scene will have later in the novel.  In a novel I can go back and add or change details here, shave off something there but we can't go in the past and change it.  We can make goals but sometimes goals change.  So maybe far-thinking isn't the way to go.  Yet if you don't think into the future you might want to make a time machine just to strangle yourself because you didn't take advantage of that 401K plan.  So maybe goals are important.  

What I do know is that I'm a far-thinker and I've been thinking further into the future.  Asking myself when I'm 99 years of age do I want cremation or a coffin?  Morbid, I know, but from there I back up.  Whose going to help my mom up her horse when the arthritis is so bad she needs a crane to lift her in the saddle?  Whose going to wipe the drool of my dad's face while he's playing on his iPhone not paying attention to the tv that he's in front of?  Whose going to send my nephews to college?  My brother might be dead by then.  Whose going to give my niece the life she's grown accustom to?  Maybe my sense of responsibility is too great but I think about these things. 

And yet they are all "what if's".  These what if circumstances both inspire me and immobilize me as I calculate my salary.  I then I know what my answer is.  It's always been my answer.  I can always count on it when I get overwhelmed.  Want to know what it is?

One thing at a time. 

You might have goals, aspirations and also a life that anchors you down.  You might not be planning everything for the long game but why not have one long term goal to actively work on?  Start retirement plans at thirty.  Write that book.  Invest in a bank note.  Because honestly you can't tell me that successful entrepreneur doesn't have money saved for when he wants to stop working.  

Aim For The Bushes

Inciting Incident: Two Chicago cops high on their own ego's jump twenty stories in pursuit of bank robbers. 

 

I watched "The Other Guys" with Will Ferral and Mark Wahlberg Sunday and am still reeling in disbelief.  (Spoiler alert) It was the scene where Samuel Jackson and Dwayne Johnson's characters bump each others knuckles and The Rock says "Aim for the bushes." and then they jump TWENTY STORIES. (End Spoiler alert)

I'm still thinking, why?  How did they think that was going to turn out fine?  Do men get testosterone poisoning so bad to the point of stupidity?  You bet.  I've seen it.  I guess it is how teenagers get killed--mostly boys by the statistics--but I'm still in a state of displacement trying to understand.  

Okay, yes, it was a movie.  The effects were awesome and it wasn't real, but still I've witnessed and prevented friends (in high school) from playing chicken with trains.  So I understand testosterone poisoning.  The thing is--I believe something like that could happen in real life. 

 

What prevents someone from feeding off their egos and "aiming for the bushes" when you live in a concrete jungle?  Sane friends, and only if you listen to them.  

What that movie really impressed upon me were two things.  First, don't jump off the top of a twenty story building.  Or, don't let your ego blind you.  

Second, there are a lot of zeros on the price tag of the government bailouts given to banks.  Holy moly!  If you watch the credits of the movie it gives you a disturbing visual. 

 

I might never understand the superman complex, but then again, people don't understand how some of us can ride a horse without fear or hesitation. 

Competitors Are Not Enemies

I've observed some people have a mind-set that competition is a bad thing. 

Most consider competing with your-self is fine.  But I believe bad sports-man-like behavior, being a "poor-sport" or taking one's less than ideal outcome personally is the culprit for making competition the "bad apple".  

I compete with myself, but I also keep an eye out for others to cheer them on, give encouragement, and seek a better way of "doing".  When you compete your are pushing yourself to be better, but more important you compete to show what you know.  

It doesn't matter if it's work, sports, or other personal goals, the premise of competition is the same.  But instead of showing what they know, people concentrate on why they are better than everyone else.  That is not competition, that's insecure inferiority complex.  

When you come from a secure belief that you are doing all you can and giving all you have and are proud of your work, competition can push you further than you can push yourself.  

A great example is in a Harry Potter book when Hermione said to one of her fellow students that she admired them and how they helped her strive to be better.  She was cheering for her fellow and thanking her for the competition because she knows it helped her.  Yes competition can help you if you think of it in a different way.  

Fortunately, I can't think of another group that is more competitive and, conversely, supportive as a whole than writers.  Most writers support the effort of their fellows.  They applaud others triumphs because they know how difficult it is to complete projects let alone get published.  Even those who have talent have to have determination to continue writing.  Writers understand that competition makes them grow.  They also mumble under there breath and swear to themselves they need to do better.  They also compete with one another saying--"I can do better than this published piece of garbage."

Change your mind about competition and a whole new world awaits you; one with friends to cheer on, cohorts to show-off to, and like-minds to conspire with.  Your competitors have something in common with you.  In life that might mean you'd be friends.  Competition is what you make of it.  Competition is not your enemy, insecurity is.   

Affections By Greeting Cards

It's time for you to sign your name on that birthday card but sometimes you want to say something personal even if the card already conveys what you feel.  

Cards can bring a laugh or convey sentiment and let the receiver know you care about them.  But just signing the card doesn't put that personal flare into it that you may want, yet you don't know what to say.  

The time comes to sign and deliver but you feel "put on the spot" or pressured to come up with something really good before sending that forget-me-not.  Even as a writer that thinks, plots and edits I find it hard sometimes to come up with something witty, funny, or sentimental to say.  We all get stuck but there is one thing for certain that you can convey and that is what is in your heart.  Wise words like this may seem a riddle too complicated to piece together but here are my steps to the words I write on cards. 
 

When it comes time to sign I close my eyes and envision that person in my mind.  If I can, I try to embody them in one word or a sentence.  Even if I don't know them extremely well, but want to convey they are part of my thoughts, then I think about them as how I see them.  I think about how I feel when I see them.  Happy, frustrated, sad all these will help you sum-up the words.  There are friends I've signed with "You're a rat-bastard and I love you for it." Knowing they wouldn't get offended.  Sometimes I'll insert phrases of a song that comes to mind.  But often times I can think of a time or place where they lifted my spirits or said a kind word and I tell them "remember when..." and end with "...you made my day, happy birthday."  

Sometimes I feel foolish or too vulnerable to say what I want to say but if I have the courage on that day to write down what is in my heart then it is a precious gift you give.  People respond to intimacy in a positive way because it is what everyone craves.  Emotions are the collective memories of an individual and if you can come from there the words will come. 

Random Epiphany

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

I figured this saying out!  It's simple but the word "conspires" tripped me up; yet it was the right word.  

The universe will use negative and positive influences to get you to move in the direction of your personal legend.  When Santiago lost his money to a thief the universe was moving him in the direction of his personal legend.  

You might think, how could God let this happen?  But really God is conspiring with the universe to get you to MOVE!  The universe is a power of negative and positive.  This epiphany has hit me and yet at the same time I feel stupid for not getting it the first time.  It took me two times for something right up my alley to click.  But I feel enriched for having "got it", or really being led to the conclusion, by myself. 

~ The Alchemist ~ What a fantastic story. 

Quote Of The Day

Sunset by Donald Weller

Aspire to Inspire before you Expire.