Trying to Ride A Giraffe

Photo by Donald Weller

I've thought about it.  I look at their backs.  Long sloping shoulders taper off to a straight backside that could possibly hold a saddle.  They seem sturdy enough to hold 200 lbs.  The girth might need to be one of those cut so the front pitches forward to reach in front of the pot belly.  I'd make the saddle with either a cut out or drawn back pommel or a high tree for the climbing shoulders.  I'd want to be right where the withers meets the back so I wouldn't be sitting on a kidney or liver.  Knowing about their shyness I wouldn't put a bit in their mouth.  Besides can you imagine the length of those reins!  I'm betting on their shyness that they're really sensitive and I'd use a free-style loop (AKA a hula-hoop) over their withers to steer them.  We'd need special boots or polo wraps but not too big-- surprisingly they have skinny legs.  I'd have a very small crop to help me enforce the steering and lots of eucalyptus leaves.  They like eucalyptus.  We'd have to make the trailer topless so they could ride to shows.  I think I'd have to leash train them, with eucalyptus leaves of course.  But if you saw that extended trot and long strides canter you'd be thinking how to get your mount to do that too!  Wow, I wonder what the buck feels like.  They seem too top heavy to rear.  But what to do with all that neck?  Long neck no back.  They seem more balanced with a high head and you could grab onto the wiry stubs of mane.  I wonder if they like alfalfa.  The barn would have to be modified.  Have to feed them from the second story.  Imagine how that canter feels?  You could do your taxes in between strides.  At the end of the day though, they have sweet temperaments and a shy reserve that makes them all the more alien and intriguing.  To win the heart of a giraffe would be like knowing how to give an abused child confidence.  Maybe I'll stick to horses.

Audible Short Story: The Ghosts of Ragged-Ass Gulch by Bill Pronzini Narrated by Nick Sullivan

Nick Sullivan has the perfect sound as a detective.  He really made the story very rich with his Bogart swagger voice!  The story felt in-between a scooby-doo episode and an old detective mystery.  I went along with it saying to myself, "Hey Steph, you got it for free and who can resist that voice?"  But I started liking the story more because of the supporting main character, Carrie.  She was a hoot!  Her character put a lot of life into the story.

The mystery wasn't complicated and had all the good writing necessary for a short but I felt it lacked that certain spark to make me want to be a devoted fan.  Yet all-in-all the short did it's job.  I'm going to look up more of Bill Pronzini's other works because of this one.  It was an entertaining 1 1/2 hours and well worth the time and price of admission! 

Audiobook review: Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel narrated by Sandra Burr

As a writer I see various different sections that could have been handled better throughout the book yet I admire the foretelling, the pace, and Mrs. Auel's storytelling ability.  As a reader, I found this book just as unique and moving as I did when I read it at fifteen though I remembered the overall story.  Ayla is an inspiring heroine without being overpowering or losing her femininity.  The story intrigued me at the beginning, crescent in the the middle and came to the authors full meaning at the last two hours.  Mrs. Auel's thoughts about the stone-age make the story and her point drive home with Creb's (a main character) insights.  The divide between clan and "the others" is firm, each character had their own voice and the plot was built up greater and greater till the last bomb at the end.  Style was great -- Mrs. Auel has a definite voice. 

Now for what readers can understand--this book was fun, entertaining and extremely unique to any book I've ever read or ever will read I suspect.  And I mean unique by it has nothing to do with sci-fi either.  It's refreshing from other historical books as it's set in the stone-age.  I liked the book even though, and I quote another reviewers comment, "Ayla (the main character) discovers everything aside from cold fusion...".  She (Auel) gets you into the culture and life of her world that could have very well been a real occurrence.  It's a must read.  I didn't rate it higher only because of technical writing issues even my amateur eye caught, not because the story was not fully integrative.  I plan on reading the next in the series -- or "remember" it as I listen to it again anyway! 

Book Review: Catch Him And Keep Him by Christian Carter

* Re-post from Thoughts, Adventures and Uncommon Questions

As a writer, I read many different books to get different insight.  When I read, I look at the style, voice, the intrigue I feel for the characters or the person if it's a memoir.  But the way Christian Carter writes draws you in and it's hard to break off.  He grabs your insecurities, throws them on the floor and says, now how does that look?  Ugly, huh?  Then, he jumps on the the poor insecurities and stops you from picking them back up when they scream for mercy. 

I can completely tell he's using the "I have a secret" method to get me to read more and it works!  I feel compelled to absorb every paragraph, consume the knowledge he has and is trying to pass on.  It's maddening because you want to know the secret!  Instead of plopping answers in your lap, you have to listen carefully, re-read and analyze what the point is.  What?  Actually engage your brain to help him find the answers? 

Christian markets to women.  What does he sell?  Advice.  MEN advice.  His ability to communicate to women at their level is amazing.  He's worked with countless therapists, advisers, and councilors to help women better understand their men, themselves and their relationships.  But what he really does is get women back on track to their inner power.  He reminds us not to give away our feminine strength while giving away the "secrets" to men in such a subtle way you'll think it was your idea.

So much of what he says I already know, but it's so uplifting to hear his positive message that I can't help but get back to the most secure and confident person that I can be.  To me his writing is worth studying not only to research as a how to get your reader hooked, but also -- he's got a great message.  Who wouldn't want a caring, generous man who lifts up your spirits in their life? 

Pseudonyms

Why would a writer have a pseudonym?  First thing that comes to mind is to get away from some shady dealings or bad press.  But what if you had another reason, a reason that was less dubious.  A writers name should be easy to pronounce or remember right?  My dilemma stems from that ridiculous thought. 

I have a certain "writers" name in my head.  I don't know why I got it in my head other than "I should have a pen name!".  Half of me looks at the other half in that "you've lost your mind" expression.  Why do you want a pen name?  I can only explain it as this gut feeling. 

I wrestled with the thought until I figured out the reason.  My novels that I'm writing now are so completely different from each other they could have been written by different authors.  My voice is evolving, the narration is no longer third person and is now first person.  My genre changed.  But I'm proud of all my work. 

I've been told that when readers like the writing they follow the writer.  But readers expect a certain amount of continuity.  I don't have that continuity in my writing yet.  One book is medieval fantasy another urban something-or-other another I don't even know or have thought of it yet.  The genres are as diffenerent as a book about Giaraffe's in love to a book about Werewolf zombies.  WTH!  Find my genre, pft. 

Maybe I read too many genre to find my own.  I do gravitate to urban sci-fi though.  I'll probably write one of those too.  Actually the fantasy novel I talked about goes through the ages as each book progresses so it might wind up to be urban fantasy by the time I'm well into the series. 

Writing in different genre might be a reason to have a pen name, but by the time I find my writing continuity I might not need one.  What would you do?

Movie Review: THOR

Is it bad that I identify more with Loki?  Even after seeing it twice I still think Thor has much to learn about life.  If it weren't for Loki, Thor would not have reached his full potential.  As Loki might not have reached his full potential without Thor.

If you don't know the rivalry of Thor and Loki you might want to get versed.  It's a fantastic story.  They say you have to have a great "bad guy" to make the hero.  I'd say Tom Hiddleston was a brilliant Loki.  Probably why I went to see it twice.

Seeing one of my all time favorite under-dogs come to life was worth the ache in my ears for wearing those 3D glasses.

The humor is great and not overdone.  The story was told really well and it has this charm about the whole movie that I'm definitely going to study as a writer.   

Shooting Companion

So you want your girl to go shooting with you and you don't know how to get her interested.  Here are some steps you can possibly use to craftily use our own instincts to get us to ask you about guns.

First, let me tell you about many women's phycology around guns.  Many women are timid.  Most women are taught with the John Wayne attitude, "don't worry little lady, I'll protect you."  So most women don't take an active interest in their own safety.

Now, you guys are great at acting like your in control of every situation and you'll need that mind-set, but lose any bravado you might have about guns around your woman.  Say very little about your gun.  Instead, use a place where you know she will see you cleaning your gun.  Sure it's okay to say "I'll be out back" but wait for her to come to you.  Don't push.

It might not be the first time you clean your gun she comes to you, it might take her a few months to think, hey what is he doing outside?  But if you religiously clean your gun/guns for an hour every week not only is that great for your weapon, it's going to make her curious as to where you are.  If you do it inside (which I don't recommend but to each your own) then she's going to smell the cleaning oil and probably come to find out at least what is that smell!  She'll see you (possibly gripe about the stentch, but at least she'll see you) with the gun.  Key here is to go about your own business and do what your doing.  Let her get use to the gun--seeing it, watching you confidently pull it apart and put it back together.  Seeing a gun pulled apart makes us feel less intimidated about it. 

Don't say any of the key repulsors like "you should", "why don't you", or "you wouldn't".  Instead answer any questions with that even level tone you would have when concentrating on the target.  Now if you have been doing a weekly routine and haven't made her feel inferior about not having a gun she's going to show an interest because it's something your interested in.

She's going to approach you more often when your around your guns.  Here's where you can start telling her how you like a partner who can take care of themselves.  Plant little confidence seeds in her mind telling her that even though your around she's not helpless but she can't pull a cop out of her handbag.

Go to an outing with the boys and invite her or go alone to the range every week.  Trust me, she'll get curious about where you go if you play it low key.  If you show her in the professional, respectful, courteous and safe way to fire a gun she'll get hooked.  Believe me that feeling you get when you fire a weapon won't be lost on her unless she's just truly and totally against guns -- which why are you dating her then if that's the case.

Now that you have her out at the range, here is where a man's I'm in control of everything attitude helps.  That doesn't mean to crowd or tell her see's doing it wrong.  You must always remain calm and reserve.  Show her how to hold a gun in the safe way.  Tell her it has some kick and if it's a shot gun show her how to press it hard against her shoulder.

When you've shown her a few times BACK-OFF!  Backing off is important.  Don't over-bear her.  Only adjust her if she's being unsafe.  Tell her she's doing well, tell her to keep shooting until she feels comfortable with it, don't hoover but don't ignore her because you have to be aware that's she doing it safely but don't expect her to rapid fire either.

Then be in the other lane and concentrate on yourself.  Trust me you are her example, she's watching.  Don't put the target more than 30 feet unless she wants it.  Tell her to breath every so often because all she'll be thinking about is how to be safe.

Guns are a toy for guys.  For a woman, she might as well be holding a rattlesnake that can turn on her as well as bite everybody else.  She's thinking safety.  To teach her and help her get over the fear make sure she know that safety is foremost on your mind for her.  She'll relax, feel safe and eventually you might just have a shooting partner to be envious of.  It's been tested that women have better fine motor skills than men.  If push came to shove the guy might be best at reloading in case of the apocalypse.

How Many Characters Should I Have In My Book?

How many characters does it take to make a good book?

I've read a few books and I've noticed there is the protagonist, the antagonist, a supporting character or two, and minor characters that reveal the plot.  So it might depend on how many plot lines, how many problems or how much trouble you want your main character to get into.  So no less than four?

I've also seen a protagonist be the antagonist fighting the trouble in his own head.  That would be one.

But whether you have one or twenty characters they all have to have a reason to be there.  But how do you know if they are need to be there?  I like asking my characters "If you were never born, how would the story change?"  The ones that cough or stutter are out.  If they don't have an immediate response, except for those characters that stutter as a regular means of communication, they're slashed.

I find this is also a good exercise to take out a character to see how the story flows.  It strengthens my main character as he has to "find another way" out of the labyrinth.  Sometimes I come up with good stuff.  Other times I see a weakness.  On rare occasions I see the true-life motive for my seemingly unconscious mind striving to work out a problem.

When I'm done torturing my characters and they can have their scene back (or many times the new torture) I'm left with my answer.  How many characters does it take to make a good book?  All of them.  (All that are left, that is.)

Don't Trust Attraction

In the 15th century, love was thought of as a mental illness.  Symptoms were not eating, not sleeping, anxiety, forgetfulness, racing pulse rate, sweaty palms, fever, loss of reason and sometimes cognizant abilities.  Sounds like the side-effects of Zanex. 

No wonder people use to think you were taken over by illness.  You're acting totally irrational -- doing things you wouldn't do, not really conscious about doing bad things while you're in a totally blitzed out state.  Yeah, that sounds pretty much like a fever or a concussion.  Take over your mind, make you do horrible things and make you feel good about it. 

Why does attraction evoke this nirvana-like state?  It's a chemical reaction.  Chemicals drive us because ultimately we need to produce children to survive.  I believe these chemicals get together and say, "hey, that biological match over there would make a great offspring!  Let's do it!  Pour out the endorphins!"  Which causes you to behave as someone possessed. 


That is why attraction CAN NOT be trusted for choosing companionship.  The hell you say Stephanie!  Well, if you have a healthy relationship with your parents, a decent up-bringing with no trauma and a good moral compass then yeah, maybe you wouldn't have trouble finding that companion that you are attracted to.  Now for the rest of those that didn't have the perfect childhood then listen up.  Your "instincts" are not to be trusted.  That's right, do not listen to the insanity of attraction. 

Here is what you do instead.  You get to know the person you have something in common with but you don't necessarily want to jump into bed with right away.  You learn about yourself in a way that doesn't feel like a train wreck three months down the line.  You make friends, platonic friends.  Find out what they like to do.  One day you might find that you like being with that person without having to talk.  That is companionship and that in itself is attractive. 

Being happy isn't the same as having this mega-attraction to a person.  Being happy isn't an illness, doesn't make you clean out your checking account and doesn't leave you with regrets.  Besides, the more attracted you are to another person, the more you want to impress them, the less you are yourself with them and vice-versa.  Your going to find your perfect 10 is a bunny boiler when you wake-up. 

My advice for those with less than desirable instincts -- if they are a magnet of attraction, run.  There's more chance of you having a real relationship with someone you think is just cute or adorable. 

Book Opinion: Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter
Narrated by Scott Holst

I was actually not interested in reading Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter but the voice of Scott Holst could not be denied.  I'm leaning more and more to audiobooks because I can "read" during my commute.  I love reading a story but my eyes wander on the page sometimes and I've been known to skip over important passages.  Also, who doesn't love to be read to?

I'm finding I'm not as selective with the purchases of audiobooks, now purchasing audiobooks I've already read (with my eyes), because I have a narrator I can hear.  Now I think, oh--10 hours?  That's 7 days of commute time.  Suddenly 1,000 page books don't scare me!  A book changes when the words are spoken outloud.  This was also the case for this particular audiobook.  I don't think I would have been that interested in reading the book.  But when listening, it came alive. 

What really had me was the description and setting in the beginning.  I could see the old fading town.  I had a grasp on how life was.  It got more interesting from there.  Some might find the first pages boring, but it really did take off after you understood that vampires are real! 

Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter has the feel of a memoir.  I really felt that Abe was the second narrator of the story.  Facts of his life coaleased with the fiction of Seth Grahame-Smith's storytelling.  I don't know about the accuracy as I'm no Civil war historian, but I feel as though there was a great deal of research put into this book.  Seth respectfully and tastefully wove this story to make me think, you know...that would make sense.

My only one question I had at the end was -- who were the eleven names on the note?  I can justify everything else to, why did Henry chose him to write the book?  To, how did Henry convince Abe to hand over the journals? 

I would recommend this book to those who like memiors, those who like history and vampires mixed together, and those who have studied the 16th president.  It's a slow pace book but by no means did it let go of my attention.

View all my reviews

Business As Usual

This term might strike up frustrations towards a government administration.  It might conjure the image of an evil corporation.  But these connotations are not what I want to talk about.  A better reference that I'm thinking of is "The show must go on." 

Business as usual doesn't have to reference an ominus cog that will just keep turning; road blocks, legislation or people's lives be damned.  "Business as usual" or "the show must go on" has the feel that no matter what, you have to go forward.  You have to deal with every problem because the world will turn without you.  Wherever you go, there you are. 

Far too often I see people's fear or people's anger overtake the duty they have to each other.  I'm not talking about some so called duty of charity.  How many do you know that take on the problems of others without dealing with their own?  That's not charity, it's avoidance.  That is what I'm talking about.  More specifically a corporate leader who avoids answering questions.  A Vice President of Sales who only deals with people that are buying and ignores the back end.  They hope the problem goes away or is dealt by someone else.  That is not business as usual.  That is lack of gratitude to those who have believed in you. 

"Is he angry?" Should NEVER come out of the mouth of a leader.  Who the fuck cares, maybe that customer has a right to be angry.  Maybe the less you deal with it the more angry that customer becomes.  Maybe it's as easy as listening or maybe it's something you might have to spend an hour on.  None the less a leader in the company without integrity, without the strength to deal with problems as they arrive is not business as usual.  It's cowardice to your own emotions. 

In a pack of wolves, cowardice will get you ripped apart.  Men are scarcely different than a pack of wolves.  They will tear you down unless you show leadership.  The type of leadership I've spoken about before.  Not dealing with a problem will make those with integrity either leave you to die or destroy you themselves. 

Perhaps that's why "business as usual" strikes an accord with angry Americans.  They've come to relate that term with the sickness of not dealing with problems or seemingly to deal with problems with no results or worse. 

In current events of the world I do not mourn or celebrate killing.  I do see the dealing of a problem.  This would be an example of my "business as usual".  A problem removed.  Actually dealing with it.  Complain about how it's ten years too late.  That's fine.  This has been sooner dealt with than some problems of others I know.     

Why Walk When You Can Fly?

I am born to soar, I live for flight. A lover of freedom, enamoured of fun, I adventure to places on the map - and in the heart - where romance reigns and everyday reality shimmers with pleasure, privilege, and promise. I am Flying Adventures, the lifestyle travel magazine for owners and passengers of private aircraft, and I am savvy, sassy, seductive.

For those of uncompromising taste, for those whose passion is planes, I am the stories told of the aviator's element, for whom flying is life+style.

An aesthetic of adventure, with sophisticated polish, I am clever, cultured, witty - irreverent. And yet, for all my allure for such qualities of character, it just may be my looks - one-of-a-kind, and good - that find you awake late into the night, too excited, too enthralled to turn away toward lesser delights. For whether it's business in Boston or pleasure in Palm Springs, sleeping in Seattle, mingling in Miami, or doing deals in Dallas, it is I who will take you there, where life is grand and possibilities beckon. Where work and play are words to interchange, and the very nature of time can seem custom-tailored - that is, for those who dare to dream dreams that fly far, far above the ordinary.

Yes, I adventure to places on the map - and in the heart - where wanderlust is a welcome nudge that whispers - that insists - it's time (isn't it always time?) to rev-up the plane and fly! I am Flying Adventures, and as a magazine meant to stir the soul and inflame the imagination, I am the one travel companion too wonderful not to soar with dreamers, with doers - with you - far, far above the ordinary.

Another find I absolutely had to share!  My travels on the internet have taken me to so many places worth mention that I should deem a bookmark dedicated to these places to go back to for inspiration.  Instead, I've made a tag under "Quotes" and "Words worth mention" so I can look upon them in a whole to show everyone these places I've been.  And, I do mean places because I may be sitting in a chair and looking at a screen, but these sites are sites that take the whole of my being and cast it into a feeling of bliss.  Bliss might be a feeling but it's also a destination inside the mind. 

Flying Adventures web site - the destination I've traveled to.

Persistence Is Key

Andrew Cook

“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.
 
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
 
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
 
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” - The Cook guiding principles.

This needed to be shared.  There is something in this man's face that screams Hank Rearden.  Not as the guilty separation of mind and body but the soul of a man that keeps going.  Determination.  Persistence.  The essence of the heart that beats.  In this picture the Chairman (Andrew Cook) looks like the embodiment of what guides him.

Dating Themes

Themes I keep hearing from dating experts:

As a women, I find men fascinating enough to try and communicate with them on their level.  I'm finding so many things different about the genders, but there are common strings with men and women. 

The breakdown:

Be Yourself.  The authentic you is GOOD ENOUGH.  You are who you are.  Are you comfortable in your own skin?  If not why not?  If someone asks you, "Who are you going to please with that?"  Tell them, "ME!".
 
Be Present.  Why not enjoy the other person's company?  Why are you thinking about laundry when there is a human being in front of you that you can connect with.  If it's hard to concentrate on that person then do this little trick--match their breathing cycle.  That will bring you back.

Have A Life.  If all you think about is work or that special someone and you forget your friends, your hobbies, what makes you fullfilled then how are you going to bring happiness to your partner?  If you look for someone else to make you happy -- then best case scenario is you're only happy when your with that person.  Don't you want to make yourself happy when you want?  Find your happiness it won't try to find you. 

These seem to be key elements that experts repeat.  They all have to do with people being whole.  Whole as in not needed or wanting another person but being and bringing to all relationships the kind of person you would want to be friends with. 

On the flip side a lot of dating experts deal in insecurities.  That seems to be a universal theme.  Men and women have different insecurities too.  Guys seem have insecurities before they get to know women and vice versa for women.  Guys know that if they get us to laugh they'll probably be making breakfast for us in the morning.


Girls generally lose themselves and their minds after they've had sex or become emotionally attached to a guy.  They tend to be in a constant state of thinking they will lose the guy.

Things can be so much better if you follow the three themes of dating experts.  Be yourself.  Be present. Have a life.  Really, it's not rocket science or a new inter-dimensional realm.

Why Are We Afraid To Be Ourselves?

How many times have you heard this advice--"Be yourself", "Don't try to please anyone but yourself"?  I hear this from yogis, counselors, philosophers--you know the type.  The thinkers, those that ponder or those that have released the bonds of trying to please others.  Yes, be yourself!  That's what Dexter does.

Okay, let's say be yourself if it doesn't hurt another person.  Here's a hitch I see.  Fitting into polite society requires one to suppress certain unacceptable personal quirks.  Things one says or does could possibly offend or hurt another person and our motives can be immature.  Let's break it down even more.  "Fitting in" is a matter of survival.  Here's what I mean.  Not but 200 years ago, if you were proclaimed a witch, you didn't fit in. You were burned or drowned or a seemingly personal favorite of the people - disemboweled.  You hid parts of yourself because society doesn't find certain aspects of human nature acceptable.

So how can you be yourself or even want to be yourself when society has a history of tearing apart those who are "not normal".  Why would you want to stick your neck out there and have a chance at being marked as a "black sheep".  People tend to want to blame "black sheeps" and your called a menace to society.  How do you bare everything that you are without reservation or concern?  I'll tell you how. 

Understand yourself.
Know what you stand for.
Accept that your not for everyone.

Understand yourself: I think people that hide behind a mask are partially afraid of themselves.  They don't want to see the dark part.  To show someone else who you are you have to understand yourself.

Know what you stand for: Or you'll fall for anything.  Make sure you are clear on this; People who are on the fence about things have no friends.  If alienating everyone is your goal and you just can't stand to be understood by anyone, stay on the fence.  Devil's advocate helps you to understand others, but be sure on what side you're on.    

Accept that your not for everyone: Acceptance was a new revelation for me.  To embrace everything that I am I have to accept the dark parts of myself.  To know what I stand for I had to accept my feelings and what they meant and then logically decide if these feelings aligned with my principles.  If feelings and principles didn't coalesce I changed my mind about how I felt about the subject.  I found a reason why I should change my mind and my feelings followed.

I've also thought "What if society doesn't accept me as I am?  What if at the very extreme they feel the need to burn me at the stake?"  It was at that moment I felt the core of my strength.  If society does not accept me, I accept myself and therefore I will stand by my principles because they are what makes me capable to stand for something, fight for something and even die for something.  When I die, I will be me.  I will not stop asking questions, I will always try to learn about my curiosities.  I will not call myself good or bad.  I will live my life being who I am.

Knowing that I accept society for being what it is and society may not accept who I am is freeing.  What it's really about is whether or not you're afraid of yourself.  Understanding, acceptance and knowledge is really for each individual to digest.