First, let me tell you about many women's phycology around guns. Many women are timid. Most women are taught with the John Wayne attitude, "don't worry little lady, I'll protect you." So most women don't take an active interest in their own safety.
Now, you guys are great at acting like your in control of every situation and you'll need that mind-set, but lose any bravado you might have about guns around your woman. Say very little about your gun. Instead, use a place where you know she will see you cleaning your gun. Sure it's okay to say "I'll be out back" but wait for her to come to you. Don't push.
It might not be the first time you clean your gun she comes to you, it might take her a few months to think, hey what is he doing outside? But if you religiously clean your gun/guns for an hour every week not only is that great for your weapon, it's going to make her curious as to where you are. If you do it inside (which I don't recommend but to each your own) then she's going to smell the cleaning oil and probably come to find out at least what is that smell! She'll see you (possibly gripe about the stentch, but at least she'll see you) with the gun. Key here is to go about your own business and do what your doing. Let her get use to the gun--seeing it, watching you confidently pull it apart and put it back together. Seeing a gun pulled apart makes us feel less intimidated about it.
Don't say any of the key repulsors like "you should", "why don't you", or "you wouldn't". Instead answer any questions with that even level tone you would have when concentrating on the target. Now if you have been doing a weekly routine and haven't made her feel inferior about not having a gun she's going to show an interest because it's something your interested in.
She's going to approach you more often when your around your guns. Here's where you can start telling her how you like a partner who can take care of themselves. Plant little confidence seeds in her mind telling her that even though your around she's not helpless but she can't pull a cop out of her handbag.
Go to an outing with the boys and invite her or go alone to the range every week. Trust me, she'll get curious about where you go if you play it low key. If you show her in the professional, respectful, courteous and safe way to fire a gun she'll get hooked. Believe me that feeling you get when you fire a weapon won't be lost on her unless she's just truly and totally against guns -- which why are you dating her then if that's the case.
Now that you have her out at the range, here is where a man's I'm in control of everything attitude helps. That doesn't mean to crowd or tell her see's doing it wrong. You must always remain calm and reserve. Show her how to hold a gun in the safe way. Tell her it has some kick and if it's a shot gun show her how to press it hard against her shoulder.
When you've shown her a few times BACK-OFF! Backing off is important. Don't over-bear her. Only adjust her if she's being unsafe. Tell her she's doing well, tell her to keep shooting until she feels comfortable with it, don't hoover but don't ignore her because you have to be aware that's she doing it safely but don't expect her to rapid fire either.
Then be in the other lane and concentrate on yourself. Trust me you are her example, she's watching. Don't put the target more than 30 feet unless she wants it. Tell her to breath every so often because all she'll be thinking about is how to be safe.
Guns are a toy for guys. For a woman, she might as well be holding a rattlesnake that can turn on her as well as bite everybody else. She's thinking safety. To teach her and help her get over the fear make sure she know that safety is foremost on your mind for her. She'll relax, feel safe and eventually you might just have a shooting partner to be envious of. It's been tested that women have better fine motor skills than men. If push came to shove the guy might be best at reloading in case of the apocalypse.
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