Guys Perspective For Girls

Interesting find in my quest to understand the male species.  

Men...can you answer this poll?

Would you either:

a ) Be unloved.

OR

b) Be disrespected.

Now women, here's the interesting part.  This is a trick question for men and many don't know how to answer.  Because being unloved and disrespected are the same thing for a guy.  

Makes sense to me but it also allows me some insight.   

Disrespect Of A Name?

How am I to respond to someone who puts extra syllables or twists my name into a slang term?  What makes a person slur a name?  Is it familiarity or disrespect?  

Why call me Sturf instead of using the exotic beautiful name Stephanie?  Stephy is even fine with me.  But contorting my name into some kind of familiarization that you don't have, I find, comes from a malice one wishes to hide.  

 

Perhaps it's meant to irritate, but why?  Perhaps it's meant to endear and I can understand that.  

People have a sense of who they are and their name is their own.  Mangling a name is like a desecration of who you are.  What ego gain is there by playing with syllables of a person's identity?

Perhaps I'm the only one who feels this way?  Tell me if I am.

Quotes I Could Kill

There's a saying I've always been annoyed with.  It's the "2 kinds of people in the world".  

It annoyed me because I always found it to be too definitive, cutting people on one side or the other.  There was always a third option.  Even if it was those that don't care.  

But I choose to see this saying in a different way.  If you choose to see the world in a classification of two kinds of people then the term needs to be broad or physical.  You are either my enemy or my friend.  You either agree with me or you don't.  You either own a gun or you don't.  

It's wonderful that there a more than two kinds of people in the world.  What starts people resenting others is division.  Division of us vs. them.  This could be why there are only "two" political parties.  Because people can't think in terms better than a crow?  (Crows can only count to three)  

No, because there are so many possibilities that it's hard to comprehend.  I have a certain amount of respect for those that think past "it's not possible".  Those are people that think past the restriction of only two paths.

Childhood "Friends"

What cruelty has age sunk to when long-time hated zits from my teenage years come back to remind me of childhood insecurities?  

Thankfully they are not the boils I had to soak in a compress to relieve but they are the same painful-to-the-touch, annoying white heads with their own personalities playing practical jokes on my face. 

Go ahead, tell me I'm lucky to have skin that "oily".  Tell me it'll make my skin that much softer in old age.  Then let me direct you to the scars from zits on my chin.  I've managed to tone down these pox like warts by wax dermabrasion--every month.  One of the girls won't wax me anymore because I cry too much. 

So here I am, me and my whiteheads.  But this time I look at them and say, go ahead guys, do your worst because I really don't give a crap about you anymore.  Funny how childhood insecurities can poof into thin air like that.  I'm not loved for the lack of blemishes on my face or the cellulite on my body.  I have more to offer than something skin deep.  I think my "little friends" just wanted to remind me of that.   

I love men!

You are funny, you shock me with your observations, you're willing to go along with my antics and I can tease you mercilessly without you taking it seriously.  But if I mistakenly jab you in the balls you'll give me that look--I know I've crossed the line.  I'll apologize and knock it off and that's the end of it.  No grudges. 

Your friends gag when I talk about you because they're jealous that all I have to say are the wonderful things you did or said.  You make my life easy and I'll stand witness to all your achievements.   

There is no fantasy guy out there or in my mind that I'm comparing you to.  I don't need you and I'm not disillusioned that you need me, but I want you and you want me and that's all we need.  

You understand your desire to possess me is frighting and I'll do everything in my power to carefully avoid strings of attachment.  That doesn't mean that I don't love you.  It means I'm here now, today.  Tomorrow isn't certain.  

That doesn't mean I won't be here tomorrow, it means I'm fierce about my independence and I can love without feeling possessive.  This may confuse you.  You'll feel lost or unloved at times but it's so far from the truth and my heart will ache if you believe those lies.   

The part of you, the side that you fight with all day long, you can drop the reins when you come home and go with it.  I'm not afraid of your beast.  You'll find strength from me and grow from it.  

You'll come to understand that if we grow apart and it's your time to leave, I won't cause a huge scene because of my lack of possessiveness.  I want the best for you and I'm not afraid of what the future brings for me with or without you. 

Or you'll grow with me an never want to leave.

The Wise Old Crone Is Talking To You

Men seek knowledge.  Women have wisdom.  It's interesting to see that men seek what they think women have.  Yet, why is it that no one listens to the wise crone?  There is one in every one of us. 

This could be the fourth time, this year, someone has asked me to "slap" them from making a mistake.  

I always do, but even when I make my observations they never take the advice.  Maybe they believe their way is right.  Maybe they can't see the train wreck coming.  Perhaps I don't bullet point the occurrences I see happening, but even when I do no one listens. 

When you seek out advice from the crone, this could be the reason why she speaks in riddles.  You're not going to listen to her anyways.  You're too close to the situation.  

If she were to speak the plain truth--you're future wife is Cthulhu.  Don't switch jobs, you'll be worse off than you are now.  Please don't lower your insurance--oops I'm sorry.  If I said these things, all it would do is hurt your feelings. 

One seeks the Crone to be justified.  Then blame the crone for not warning you.  Fantastic.  The secret to the Crone is, her knowledge is for HER benefit, not yours.  You know why?  Cause her knowledge was gained with wisdom.  Hard, life altering, painful school-of-hard-knocks learning wisdom.  Her lessons aren't your lessons. 

If you have the open mind to heed the crone, you're life could easily avoid soul crushing failure.  Maybe that's not better though.  You see, wisdom of the Crone is knowing enough to know she knows little, that others paths don't follow hers, everyone needs to learn the hard way, and they aren't going to listen anyway. 

So the next time you seek guidance, the next time you read the tarot, the next time you search for the right path, you must understand that this is your journey.  Each one is unique.  Each path is yours.  You have a Crone and it's your choice to listen.  

Monetary Gain

"You should get something back for your effort."  I hear that all the time.  

What they mean is I should get money for my effort.  That in itself is not a bad thing.   

However, what if my currency isn't money?  What if my currency is paying it forward?  I have so much to be thankful for and give back.  What if this is what I can give?  What if nothing else I just want to give the world the best story I can write right now?  

To the horror or amazement of those that try to motivate me through money, they find it doesn't drive me.  Goals do.  Working as a team does.  Orchestrating a common bond is my currency.  I would pay money, and I do, to do those things. 

 

To call my writing a hobby would be the same as introducing the love of my life as "just my boyfriend".  There are no strong words to describe what writing is to me. 

 

Writing will always be a passion for me.  Monetary gain would be recognition.  It would help me put out more stories. But I can't help but feel along that fine line of making money and creating a story to believe in there is a loss of the original goal.  Unless the goal is solely to make money.   

I will keep writing because it's what I do.  It's that initial effort and then bringing a team together to "birth" the thing that drives me.  It comes from within which means it comes from the soul of the universe--as Paulo Coelho wrote.  

What about you?

Coming To California

My cousins are coming for vacation!  I've scheduled the week off for their arrival.  I'm so excited I could time travel to the future to have it now and then go back to today after that week and then fast forward over that week they were here so I can have it now!  I feel I should write a steam-punk, time-travelling, adventure novel--or just read the Adventures of Spring-heeled Jack. 

 

That reminds me of the Steam-punk party I'm going to in June, which means I need some stuff.  But this is supposed to be about my cousins coming to California and what we might do!  Things high on the list:

 

- Getting kicked out of Disneyland .

- Knocking on the rich and famous doors of Beverly Hills millionaires.

- Correcting the Dali paintings at The Huntington.

- Bringing a bag of baseballs to an Angel’s game and throwing them out on the field to confuse The Padres.

- Swimming with the dolphins at SeaWorld.  (Oh, wait I think you can actually do that now and not get in trouble!)

- Play chess with bums at Venice (Been there, done that and there are some intelligent bums that can kick my ass at chess.)

- Bring a trebuchet to Lego Land and seize the King’s Market. 

- Cutting a bouquet of roses for my cousin from the Descanso Gardens . 

 

I consider these establishments warned of my intentions and, if identified, I completely understand if I'm turned away.  It will only mean I'll have to have back-up plans.  I take full responsibility of my actions.  I don't want my cousins to get in trouble.  But I will find the fun and bring it!  

I Believe That...

Inspired tribute to American Gods.  In a scene near the end of American Gods by Neil Gaiman, one of the characters explains what she believes in.  It's inspiring and awesome along with the book.  I highly recommend it!

I Believe That...

 

People can change if they want to but they can't change if someone else wants them to.

E-books and traditional publishing will still be around 100 years from now but traditional publishing might not be 200 years from now.

Planet earth is so far in the boondocks that it's going to take us humans to go visit for life in the center of the galaxy.

Another planet in the opposite end of the boondocks is wondering when we'll show up.

I could eat PBJ's for lunch every week day but maybe not every weekend.

You should take care of what you think in your head because it shapes your soul.

When I die I will be missed even if no one knows who I am.

Because the sky is blue and the grass is green I've adapted to love those colors as the epitome of health.

Crying is the soul bleeding and tears are poison that needs an outlet for one to heal.

Death is an adventure.

Righteousness is an eternal inheritance and Alucard will come for you one day.

Love is God, not the other way around.

Hell is not a place or a destination but your own personal nightmare that needs to be confronted before you gain true confidence.

Zack Fair is a sexy-ass whatever he is.

Marcus interferes with my life more often than I'd like to admit.

Fun is a requirement to live, otherwise you exist.

Google is the next American God.

Just because I talk to myself, doesn't make me crazy, it makes me sane.

Kindness should be sprinkled out liberally everyday so that this world doesn't become intolerable.

With Corso Riggs by my side, I will defeat Darth Vader.

Those who tell me to shut up are those I shouldn't bother talking with.

The safest place on earth is under a rainbow.

Reality is too constrictive when it comes to imagination and children.

Stephanie is the most beautiful girls name ever.

Opening your heart to yourself can be dangerous but worth the risk because if you don't it has no reason to beat.

Yak's spit to be funny.

No one can make you feel a certain way, but that doesn't give them license to hide behind when they try to hurt you or say something that's "truthful".

The Queen Chess piece should never be relied upon; she's a woman and can change her mind and sides.

Vegan's don't understand that this world is not fair, but I admire their choice, not because they are "superior" and don't eat meat but because going without something that the body needs for years takes beyond the will to live and longevity or a devil's worth of self loathing.  

X is the universal sign for "this is worth the booby-trap that might kill you."

Epiphany of the Day

Word definition:

 

obtest

 

Meaning: to supplicate earnestly; beseech

 

Right then. Some of you will be saying, yeah beseech, like I'm suppose to know what that means.  WTH?

 

This is definitions gone a rye.  This is trying to describe the color blue to a person blind at birth.  Let's look up supplicate. 

 

supplicate: Ask or beg for something earnestly or humbly.

 

So obtest is more earnest than supplicate? 

 

beseech: Ask (someone) urgently and fervently to do something; implore; entreat.

 

So would obtest be less than beseech, even though its part of the definition of obtest?

 

I obtest that you shouldn't have to look up other words for the definition of the word you're looking for.  Does that make sense? 

 

This word has a happy ending because I do understand, but others sometimes I wonder.  How are some words explained without being experienced?  This is the flaw of language.  If you can't express yourself, you can't be understood which is what others are desperate for.  Why is the need to feel understood so paramount?  Is there a way to let that go and just be?  Is it an ingrained factor like having someone to witness and share your life?  If you can't even understand yourself then how is someone else suppose to? 

 

Know thyself.  Sounds like a commandment.  Maybe to love thyself is to care enough to get to know thyself.  In fact, I'm certain of it.  It's my new motto: To know thyself is to love thyself. 

 

This epiphany may have been said a billion years ago but I think I understand.  And it took trying to finger out a definition to a word to find it.  This brings me to another thought.  Are we made of words?  God spoke a word and here we are?  Words are the element of wind.  I think of people as the four elements combined and I'd like to find out what the other elements within us are.  What do you think?  

Brain Tease

I like to eat my sandwiches upside down.

 

Now you might think that eating sandwiches upside down is difficult but it's really not.  First, you pick up the sandwich, then eat it with the bottom side facing up.  

Sometimes I'll go crazy and eat my sandwiches sideways.  That's eating the sandwich crust first.  Now you might have gotten in your head that I'm upside down on a monkey bar but that's the fun of brain teasers.  Brain teasers can make your characters memorable.   

 

This upside down sandwich quirk extends to John Tennison, a character of my next book, which will make him memorable.  I bet you have a quirk that makes you "weird" enough to never forget.  What's yours?