Critique partners--A Look Into A Creative Process

Recently, I've become a critique partner advocate!  There is nothing like a second or third fresh mind looking at your WIP.  

Refining your own manuscript with the aid of an outside source can give depth into your story, characters and overall meaning of what you want to say.  

Also, critiquing work gives me the chance to see my own work in a different light.  Looking at something new to critique gives me inspiration.  My fellow writers, weather they are just beginning or not, give me the awe inspiring feeling because I know what they are going through. 

 

I think the best thing about critique is not the learning involved on both sides but being a part of the process of a good story.  It takes more than one person to build a novel.  

I definitely agree with what Neil Gaiman said in "American Gods" -- you don't ever learn how to write a novel.  You learn how to write the novel your writing.  

Such words to live by and learn from.  Never stop learning.  Never stop being amazed by other people's insights.  Never stop the creative process or admiring it.

The Number One Reason Your Guy Loves You

The Crab Nebula

Surely there's more than one reason your guy loves you.  It could be because when he's with you he feels:

Loved

Cherished

Important

Or maybe it's more complicated than that.  It could be because you are the one who witnesses his life.  You give him more than just what he needs but what he wants.  

A simple man might say, "I love her because she's an angel in the kitchen and a whore in bed."

I was told that I was loved because:

We have a good time together.

We can talk about anything and I don't take offense.

I accept his flaws.

In a nutshell the number one reason why my guy loves me is because...

...I understand him.  At least to a degree.

Men are simple and yet I find them fascinating because simple can be as complicated as you make it.  Meaning, I never find an end to what is "simple".  Just because you think you understand someone doesn't mean you know them.  

Endeavor to understand them but don't expect to fully understand them.  Why?  Because unless you know yourself completely, then don't expect to understand another person or have them understand you.  Trying to understand another person is like trying to understand the universe.  It's fun trying because there is no end. 

Hero For A Day

Where I work, the place is not just an office--it's a wolf pack.  Our fearless leader looks like a wolf, acts like a wolf and shreds competition like a wolf.  

We have our alpha female that can sell you ice in a tundra.  We have the sometimes moody but always helpful babysitter that will sit on your ass if you annoy her.  The jumpy, submissive that you can always talk to and let your guard down.  The happy go lucky go-to-guy that likes to play jokes.  All the little pupplings clamoring potential clients for a morsel with their sales proposals.  And then there's my Nemesis.

I fondly call him my Nemesis for a specific reason, but that is a different story.  My Nemesis comes up with one liners that you can't pull back from and they are why I adore him so much.  He's like that kitten on the left asking for his fee for his termination services.  My Nemesis is gruff, bored most the time, intelligent, mysterious because he never extends himself and our head IT guy.  He's kinda like a bemused, bored king able to make your day or make you want to die.  He reminds me of Jamie Lannister from Game of Thrones if that helps you a bit.    

He was the one the one who called me a tool by saying: "When you're a hammer, every problem looks like a nail."

His latest gem: 

"According to recently-implemented protocol, the original proposal has been shredded in dramatic fashion."

I could not help the smile or the amusement at his chiding of one those clamoring pupplets about his proposal.  This is why you don't want to piss off your IT guy.  They have more wit and candor than you can come back with.

I'm Ethical Because I'm a Greedy Capitalist

Of the seven sins greed might be the most hated of all.  Balancing these sins out Pride vs. Modesty, Lust vs. Chasity, Greed vs. Ethics but people tend to swing the needle all the way to the other side.  It becomes I'm not Prideful I'm Insecure.  I'm not Lustful I'm Celibate.  I'm not Greedy I'm...interesting that I can't find an all encompassing word for "giving everything away".  (Help me with that if you know one)

 

But wait...there's this guy you might have heard of, Greg Smith.  He's the one that publicly announced he finally noticed Goldman and Sach's was unethical in it's business dealings.  In his article he explained that when you don't have ethics, you don't have a business.  I agree.  Short term greed might get you money, but it won't get you wealth. 

 

The way success works in business is a good rapport with customers.  Customers give you money.  Treat your customers poorly, try to pull the wool over their eyes, grab their stash and run then you're not going to have a business for long, as Mr. Smith points out.  

Ethics are, in essence, necessary for sustained success.  Perhaps you've seen executives get away with it.  But my first reaction when I see businesses doing shady things is to not do business with them.  You don't trust them and the money flows away from them. 

 

"But everybody's doing it!"

 

No.  I refuse to believe there are no options.  I've found banks that never laid a finger on "junk loans".  I've work with business owners doing the right thing.  I have writers warning me not to cross a non-disclosure clause "because it would be wrong."  "Everybody's doing it"--is not the best excuse I've heard, just the most common.  If one can justify dumping morals to the way side then it's a life that hasn't been self-examined. 

 

Greg Smith's article points to one direction and that's ethics=success.  No matter how many stories you hear about bankers, traders or executives behaving badly, I'll always believe in ethics.  So if I genuinely care about my customers and their wants, if I seem more preoccupied with how I can help my fellow co-workers, or if I walk out on a deal that makes me uncomfortable because I don't feel it's right, then attest my ethics to my greed. 

The War Against E-books

Article titles reveal the vibe traditional-publishing feels about self-published authors and vice-verse.  You might think traditional-publishing are targeting E-Books, but really they are targeting Amazon and independent authors.  Also, the monkey flinging is just as rampant against traditional-publishing.  Here are some headlines I've seen lately;

"Is traditional Publishing Dead?", "Amazon A Threat To Society", this last one; "Staying Relevant Biggest Challenge to Publishers, Not E-Books" made me realize, yes, traditional publishing are launching nukes.  

If we can't have it no one will.  Yet this statement made by Marcus Leaver proves to me how far gone the higher ups have strayed from being relevant.  Here's a clue--E-Books ARE relevant.  Amazon reports 75% of their books sold are E-Books.  Amazon also has the lead as a reseller of books.  (Notice the period of that last statement--it's for real)

 

War is defined in the Stephanisms dictionary as "You want what I have and am going to take it from you."

 

That's what traditional publishing is saying.  the music industry tried the same thing.  Napster is killing us!  Stop buying pirated music!

 

Stop making me pay $15 for one song, then we'll talk. 

 

I've seen through the shrugs of authors saying, "that's the way publishing is."  One writer I know can't write what she wants to write because she's under contract to write what the marketers want her to write.  

Yes, she, her agent, her publisher all want to make money but this goes against what the same people tell her to write whats inside.  So, you want me to write sincerely, but you want me to write what you want me to write?  Also, one writer can crank out 3 books, 3 GREAT BOOKS, a year but her publisher won't let her--why?  Because of her contract.  One writer is not allowed to enter into a certain genre because it would be too competitive against another author they have.  

What buyers can't buy both?  Now I come to find agents put in a clause with writers saying if Agent#1 can't find a home for your book they make you shelf it.  If you part with that agent and find another that can sell your book Agent#2 AND Agent#1 get their 15% (which is 30% not given to the writer).  Does that seem right to you? "That's the way publishing is."  -- "That's the way that government is." -- "That's the way the DMV rolls." -- "That's the way..." No.  I point at that and say UNETHICAL.

 

Yes you worked your tushy off trying to sell that book but your going piss and moan and cry when someone better can sell the book?  Does the crappy sales guy that just couldn't help you get commission from the sales guy that did know what you were talking about, saved you hours looking and direct you to the product?  No.  Crappy sales guy gets fired. 

 

No wonder E-Books are kicking your ass.  Yes, I agree, there are a lot of crappy E-Books out there but still they are kicking your ass!  So instead of getting up, bringing your game to the customers the way they want it your trying to pull technology back?  Really?  

The Big 6 have the power to rise above it a kick the m***er-living-s**t out of E-Books and all your doing is crying on the pavement?  The way I see it traditional-publishing is being a doormat, an osterige, an armadillo, or my favorite--a pill bug. 

 

Despite my ramblings I want traditional publishing to rise above a be successful.  I'm one of those that nods my head and say, "I can see that" when I find out something wacky about publishing.  

But the fact that they are waging war against the entrepreneurs that are making leaps and bounds by technology is looking more like suicide.  Traditional publishing takes offense that technology is bringing more readers in and by passing them to get to what they want because it's convenient?  Is this what I'm seeing?  

I saw a report that 50% of books are impulse buys.  So why not take the information and apply it.  Your being dumb-asses and your forcing everyone to choose sides and really if you want to see the future, look at the music industry, look at the Motion picture writer's strike.  The future is a repeat of the past if you don't learn from it. 

Salespeople Have the Best Job on Earth

Relationships make a person fulfilled.  We all crave to connect with one another.  Who doesn't want to be understood, have people acknowledge our efforts, our life, and our lineage?  So those that have a job that actually pays to talk to people, build relationships, get involved in others goals and be a part of their life has the best job ever. 

 

Coming from this relationship building place while calling prospects nets more information from whoever you talk to.  People are memorable when you actually have a conversation even if they don't buy your product.  

Too many times have I listen to salespeople trying to hurdle over the "gatekeeper" to the person they want.  I've heard a sales person dismiss a "secretary" trying to help him get to the right person.  

That sales person couldn't get off the phone fast enough because he didn't hear what he wanted to hear.  She was trying to connect; he was trying to "sell".  This discourse of not connecting leaves a feeling of frustration or uselessness. 

 

Sales can be frustrating.  Sometimes when verifying contacts I have to stop and center.  I have to go back to that "morning" moment where I'm fresh and excited to go to work.  Sales have a lot of rejection to it but only if you look at it that way.  

I'm eager to connect with people and in turn I don't just verify name and company.  I connect, have a quick chat and at the end of the phone call I hang up with a smile.  That's why I think salespeople have the best job on earth!     

Relationship Destination

My relationship destination

Where is this relationship going?  Pleasant-ville, IN?  Do my relationships need to go somewhere?  And if they're going somewhere then where are the pictures?  Why do women feel like they're traveling through a relationship?  If this is true, and relationships "go" somewhere then marriage is death.  But it's not. 

 

So when you have a platonic relationship with a girlfriend, where is that relationship going?  

"Oh, don't be silly," you say.  "Of course I'm not going to marry my buddies!"  

"Then why would a relationship with a guy be any different?"  

"Don't be dumb!"  You say. 

 

When women think about relationships in this way, they get it wrong every time.  Those are the women that want their party, their dress, their presents and their vacation.  

Do they actually think about afterward?  You know who does?  Your husband, or your husband-to-be.  If you're just thinking about the relationship destination, once you're married no wonder your relationship goes in the crapper. 

 

Here's a hard truth.  

Women--it's up to you.  It's up to you to communicate.  

Women are the great communicators and yet they never learn the language of men.  You're frustrated because he won't do what you want when you want and how you want.  Your issue is control because you feel that men are more powerful and to gain power you must gain control.  This gets you into manipulations.  Which gets him to feel resentful and closed off.  Which ultimately gets you more frustrated.  "Why won't you talk to me!" 

 

If you're prepared for the reason I'll give it to you.  If not STOP READING and go away.  Go on manipulating with frustrating results.  Go on wondering where your relationship is going because I'll tell you it will be going to divorce and heart break. 

 

But let me ask you this question.  Have you ever yelled at yourself in the mirror as if you're talking to your man? 

 

....

 

No?  If you have...

 

How frightened were you of that person in the mirror?  Was she scary?  Was she red-faced?  Were you thinking of any lie just to get her to calm down? 

 

Wow.  I think I'd run from you too.  That is why he won't talk to you. 

 

You want the truth but so often you don't give yourself the ability for the truth.  Anger is a weapon.  It's also a shield.  

He lies to you during that time because no matter what he says it will be held against him in a court of law and he knows it!  And that court of law is your law.  Also, the truth might just make you more angry.  

Answering your question truthfully as to why he won't talk to you might sound like; "Because you're a f***ing b****."  

He wouldn't be wrong. 

 

As a communicator it is YOUR job to learn HIS language.  This may not be the job you asked for but it's yours.  He has his job, you have yours.  

Before you whine and complain and claim two-way streets (which is true, but...) think about what he has to endure.  How would you like to know all your life that you are expendable?  That's a man's job.  To protect.  To die for you.  To live for his family.  No wonder the guy doesn't want to marry.  Would you marry if your freedom was taken away?  Marriage=Expendable to a guy.  It also equals responsibility. 

 

If you can prove to him that's not true, then he will die for you.  He'll do anything and he'll never leave.  Now I can't give you the in's-and-out's of a guys mind in one post but I can point you in the right direction. 

 

If you want to save your relationship or have meaningful ones check these guys (and gals) out!

Christian Carter 

Rori Raye 

David Wygant 

And learn that men don't love bitches.  

Profile

Every so often I'll change my profile intro.  I don't want to delete my old profile wording so I save them.  This has been up on the blog since it's first days in January 2011 to April 2012.  I like my new one as I put it up on the blog but just like that girl scout song says...make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold...

I continually blog as a way to dig for gold and pull out the dregs of gray matter sliding down my olfactory orifice. I plucked all of these droppings myself and smeared them onto this clean white page. Okay, it was white. Well, it's better than storing them under the table or in a drawer.

Ex-claimer: The Health Department recommends all visitors wash their eyes after viewing the Nose Droppings blog.

If you're like me you love writing and reading. For you I've created "Nose Droppings" as a motivational tool to pick those ideas from--well, wherever you get ideas, and realize that what you might think are dregs can be artful to another.

I hope to inspire, motivate and make you laugh or think about the subjects slathered onto the screen. Follow me and share your triumphs, insights and inspirations, but I'll be happy even if you just point and laugh.

TTFN and don't let the gooey ones stick to ya!

Four Points for Author Protection

If you are going to become a published author and you are going to be in the limelight, aka do the social media thing to promote your book, then consider this;  200 million people log-in to Facebook everyday.  Not all of them are the greatest of people.  

If you think about it 10% of those people are actively trying to cause harm to others for their own gain.  That would be 20,000,000 people trying to get at your goods.  

The access to potential readers is great for marketing yourself but it also means you're a target.  You no longer have the luxury of remaining anonymous.  

Everyone thinks writers are rich so the importance of protecting yourself is pinnacle.  Before you're scammed take precautions.  

Social Media.

Be aware of the personal settings for all your social media accounts.  Stay aware of the latest email scams.  Use a pseudo name for purchases online.  Of course use your real name when needed.  But you don't need to have things addressed directly to you.

On-line purchases.

Wikipedia is going to have your pets name, your birth year, the time of your latest bowel movement so when you set up your accounts--lie.  Lie about the questions.  It's too easy for a hacker to call your bank with your name, your pets name, your mother's maiden name and your birth date to get into your account.  

Phones.

Remember your phone is the weakest link in security.  Don't transmit sensitive information. 

Passwords.

Strong passwords with cute curly cues and exclamation points are going to be much more secure than "stealme123".

I know this sounds like a great article for life lock, but please take in mind that what I'm saying is a reality.  Protect yourself before you expose yourself.

The Truth About Love

Picture by Donald Weller

I no longer seek Unconditional Love only the truth of love.  I think I've been looking for the truth of love all this time but didn't know that was what it was called.  

So many people say they want someone to love not realizing that it's a goal and the idea of love they are looking for.  When I say idea I mean ideal because when someone says that want love they don't actually realize that they already have been assigned someone to love.  

Not like a soul mate and yes, at risk of sounding corny, that person is you.  This body, this soul.  Love is a feeling--that's what your looking for.  Can you feel love towards yourself?  Seeking the truth of love, what it is, what it means to me is just as profound as, what is life? 

 

I've decided that if God is love then dogs were put in my path to learn what love is.  Dogs do love unconditionally and I've come to understand that people don't.  People can but they run the risk of not loving themselves unconditionally and to do that would miss the whole point of unconditional love.  Because only you can give you that kind of love. 

 

Seeking the truth of love is different.  Trying to figure out what love is by seeking love without possession is something I find worth investigating.  I remind myself you must be willing to let go for the sake of the thing you love without resentment yet keep it near so the feeling is always with you.  The truth of love brings me back to the road of the self.  Who I am, what I'm about.  

When I come from this place, this centered secure place, I can find the truth of love.  Possession falls away like an irrelevant toy.  But a toy it is and sometimes I return to it when I need to return to the ego before I lose the sense of self-preservation.  I am the moth fluttering towards the light of love and retreating before I am obliterated into the whole of it all.  Is love the balance between these two places or is love the light?  Will the truth blind or kill me?  Or will I join it at the discovery of my search?

What Do You Call Books?

"The world doesn't need another book."

 

That's like saying the world doesn't need another child in the world.  Books are thought of as immortal but really that only happens if the books are hugely popular.  We study Shakespeare, and their are people who read it for fun and search for old books of Shakespeare's ilk.  I commend you because you're something of a linguist as well.  Face it, we don't talk like we use to.  We don't write like we use to.  In fact writing has changed so much in the last decade to compete with other forms of entertainment that the difference is instantly noticeable. 

 

"Call me Ishmael." -- How many of you truly understand that when this was written "Ishmael" meant something equivalent to, well, think of the worst word that you should never ever say, ever.  That's what Ishmael meant during that time. 

 

Today Ishmael sounds like any other name to me.  The ancient library of Alexandria had plenty of scrolls (books they'd be called now-a-days).  Where are they now?  Buried?  Bottom of the ocean?  Dust?

 

So the world doesn't need another book.  Heck, the world doesn't need another person either.  I prefer to say, "There are many like it, but this one is mine!"

Is "The Good For The People" Subjective?

I'm trying to make sense out of political debates and what I commonly see are politicians claiming people's allegiance by the people's emotions.  Everyone has needs that have to met and everyone has an opinion on how these needs are met.  Some rely on others--welfare, spouse support, hand-outs.  Some rely on commerce--having a job, being their own boss, living off investments.  Some rely on the collective--Unemployment, government jobs, disability.

 

No matter how you feed yourself you have an opinion about it because this is how you stay alive.  With all these different ideas whether you want someone else to worry about it, worry about yourself or just go with the flow there are so many different opinions on where the nation should go it makes me dizzy.  Everyone thinks they are right, or don't care if their answer doesn't suit everyone.  They want what they want and want it right now. 

 

But do you truly sit back and think about what's right for the masses without stepping on individual priorities?  For some old guys, the founding fathers sure did do their homework, dig deep within themselves and pull out the bill of rights with not just the masses in mind but individuals too.  What is the root of all the chicken pecking?  Why do we not think about our own rights within others?  Clearly stated I've said to a friend, "Yes, I would be a little nervous about you having a gun, but I would never want to take the right of you owning a gun away from you."  I can't state this more prolifically. 

 

The founding fathers stated clearly what are rights and omitted what are not rights.  There is not right to have sex because that would mean women wouldn't have the right to say no.  Healthcare is not a right because it means doctors couldn't say no.  In fact, speaking of the constitution, any of the rights given are ones that do not come from anyone else.  Turn this around and think about what happens to you when you're stuck at your job, you can't quit, you can't find another one and your boss is saying you can't go home because you don't have the right to say no.  At the very least, you'd get cranky, and do a less than peak performance job.  

 

I'm not saying we should all become socialists and work for our brother, but it would be more productive to have a mindset of, what can I do to make others fulfilled?  Because when you do that, it makes you fulfilled.  If your goal is money, then that's the best type of attitude because people will flock to your products.  If your goal is brotherhood, then that's the perfect attitude because it creates unity.  If your goal is to lead and be popular, then that attitude is perfect because people will subscribe to your ideas. 

 

Am I alone in answering: teamwork and meeting goals, to the playboy question "what turns you on?"  Because teamwork is what the world needs.